Joy Happens

Before I actually begin my talk today, there are two things on which I want to briefly touch. One is freedom of the pulpit. One of the important aspects of Unitarian Universalism is our freedom of the pulpit. What that means is that any words spoken from the pulpit in a UU church are the words of the speaker, not of the church association as a whole. If not reminded of this, visitors, and sometime even our own members, will have concerns that the words spoken from this pulpit may be construed as coming from the entire congregation.

The second is semantics. Apple, Potato, Rock, Grass, Deer, are all words that cause pictures to form in the minds of all of us sitting in this room. When we use those words here to explain an event, or even an abstract idea, we can be reasonably certain, because we all speak the same language, that the picture that is conjured up in Harvey's mind of the apple, probably won't be that different from the picture in Bill's mind.

However, when it comes to words like God, Joy, Religion, Soul, Love,........ we can use them with no such certainty. The God conjured up in the mind of Marlene may be vastly different from the one that appears automatically in the mind of Jill. For that reason, as I begin my talk today I want to attempt to provide you with my intended definitions for some of the words I use, so that when you hear those words from me, regardless of how you have previously defined them, you'll also know my intended meanings for them.

Let's examine, for instance, the word God. I am quite comfortable with this word because my definition of the word God fits few of the standard dictionary synonyms. My meaning is expansive enough to be enhanced by science, rather than diminished. (i.e., quantum physics) My "God" is dynamic, not static. (i.e., process theology) My synonyms for God include, but are not limited to, Love, Life, Light, the Force, the Ultimate, the Basis, the Is, the I AM. In other words, to me the word God probably isn't truly a noun, and, like the ancient Taoist, I believe that the God that can be defined or described isn't the true God.

I define the word Religion as : Observance, commitment or devotion to a personal set or institutionalized system of attitudes, beliefs, and practices held to with ardor and faith.

My definitions for Joy follow more closely those of the dictionary: Experience or deep feeling of gladness; pleasure; delight; happiness; exultation; ecstasy; bliss; gaiety; mirth. And, also, I must add my own synonym for joy, which is a phrase. Joy is, to me, also "a peace that passeth all understanding."

In the latest issue of UU World the Rev. Leaf Seligman wrote: (1)"Many years ago, during an emotionally difficult time, a friend asked me. 'What would it mean to answer the call to joy?' She didn't ask 'What would it mean to go out and have a good time?' She asked me what it would mean to answer the call to joy. That sounded religious, as if the Cosmos itself were summoning me to something important. I pondered my friend's question daily. What makes joy a religious experience? What makes it a calling?"

The Rev. Seligman went on to state that at times she had questioned whether it's right to experience joy in a world so ravaged. I understood where she was coming from in wondering if we, as flawed human beings in a flawed world, have a right to joy. As a child, raised by a Presbyterian mother who had been quite thoroughly indoctrinated with the idea of original sin. I was cautioned against risking, constantly assured that the world was filled with horrible dangers, and that if certain dreaded things happened to people, they would forever after be doomed! If "this" or "that" were to take place, joy would forever be beyond my reach and I would just never, ever be truly happy again.

It took years of living and learning, and the personal experience of some of those dreaded devastating events, to find out that joy was not something God distributed as a reward to those who managed to live their lives avoiding pain. Joy was, instead, an integral part of our human spirit. I did not need to seek it, I only needed to stop my fearing, and seeking, long enough to let it be. I learned that in my own life, as well as in the lives of those around me, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional, and moving beyond suffering and myself, by mindfully living fully in that moment.............. joy happens!

UU Minister, the Rev. Ann C. Fox" author of The Eight-Fold Path of Buddhism" writes, (2)"No teacher has credited the mind with more influence over life than did the Buddha. The best loved of all Buddhist texts, the Dhammapada, opens with the words, 'All we are is the result of what we have thought.' And, respecting the future, it assures us that 'all things can be mastered by mindfulness'."

Michael Young, minister of the First Unitarian Church of Honolulu, Hawaii., writes: (3)"This is not a uniquely Buddhist or Zen idea. Other traditions have come at it from different angles, from differing analysis, and using different language. But the basic idea is common to most of the great religious teachers of our species, [even Jesus]."

"Buddha began with the recognition that all life entails pain. From the pain of birth to the pain of death; accident, injury, disease, aging, dying. But also hurt feelings, disappointment, not getting what you want . . . and getting it. Fear of what will or won't happen. And also loss; all of the ways in which those ragged holes get torn in the fabric of our lives and the poignant pain of the missing, missing other. The death, abandonment, leaving and changing of loved ones. And, of course our empathy and compassion for all of the above when they happen to those with whom we identify. The same idea as in the Zen aphorism is in the Power of Positive Thinking material, [granted] in a somewhat distorted fashion. It is part of the kernel of truth in the New Age notion that [we] create [our] own reality. The problem with most of the formulations of it is that they seem to be saying that your suffering is your own damned fault."

Young goes on to write, "Suffering is NOT our fault. It is not that we choose to suffer. It is that no one has ever taught us how to choose not to. Not that we opt for it, but that we don't opt not. Most of us don't know it. Or, knowing it, don't believe it's possible for us. Or, we reject it because we demand to be [rid] of both pain and suffering or we're not interested. Or, because it asks of us some discipline; and we humans are notorious for presuming to prefer the comfort of familiarity, even if it ...[hurts]. Or, because it is a religious idea, and if I can't do it immediately I must lack faith; and besides, I am not a religious person. Or, we ask, "Why me?" As if we were somehow singled out for unique and special treatment that no one else has ever experienced. Indeed, for some of us, our special chosenness for suffering may be the only specialness we feel."

"Buddha recognized that suffering is the result of our habits of mind in responding to that pain. It is not the pain that causes the suffering."

"So how do we opt out of suffering. The discipline involved-and there IS discipline involved-is not some alien, exotic or esoteric act. [We] are not required to believe ANYTHING; we have only to DO it. There are two parts to this discipline. If we do only the first part, the result is mere happiness. When we do both, the result is joy."

As Young states, "When pain happens, NOTICE it. It's a signal. A piece of information. Do what is appropriately do-able, if anything. If you are sitting on a tack, get off the tack ! And don't sit down again until you have removed it. Having done the do-able, RELEASE the pain. [We] heard and responded to the message. [We} do not have to run it again and again like an old tape. [We] heard it. [We] responded. Now, let go of it. And finally, SHIFT [our] attention somewhere else. Put it on what [we] need to do next and do that with full awareness..... That's the first piece: Notice, Release, Shift attention."

"The second is similar. That is: Move [our attention off ourselves]. Constantly monitoring our own mere happiness we only notice when we're not. Watching always for lack, all we see is lack. Especially when we're in one of those moods when every single deficit we can possibly imagine seems to flow effortlessly right into our minds. Move [our] attention off [ourselves] and onto other people, onto other activities, onto almost anything other than self-monitoring. Lose yourself in something."

In the words of George. Bernard Shaw: "The true joy in life is to be used for a mighty purpose, the being a force of nature, instead of a selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

Young concludes, (3)"There are [the] two pieces. Move [our] attention off our pain. Move [our] attention off [ourselves]. The first tends to take away the suffering. The second tends to keep it away. The first yields mere happiness, which doesn't last. The second yields JOY, which does.We can free our attention from that tendency to focus on hurt and pain and lack. In that moving of our attention off the pain, and finally off ourselves, is the opportunity to become aware of who we really are and how we are really connected; and then to learn to live out of that awareness."

Last week, as I was preparing this talk, a friend emailed me the following: The "How To" of Joyful Living. It really says much of the same things, only stated using more flippant verbiage.

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Encourage cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning new things. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, etc.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

What does all of this mean for us as a religious community? In the words of the Rev. Seligman, (1)"To answer the call to joy means that, in the midst of grief, despite uncertainty and our reluctance to challenge the status quo, we still choose to respond to our soul's stirring. While hope may call us from the brink of despair by inviting us to imagine a different time, a transformed reality, or a better place, joy summons us to inhabit this moment, already ripe. Joy calls to us in our uncertainty and bears its fruit in the very garden of our limitation. It does not depend on material possessions or success. It emerges when we risk revealing ourselves. It relies on our capacity to connect with what matters, to feel the pulse of life that ties us to all being. This is why joy is a religious experience."

In closing may we remember that joy happens...........when we allow it! Can we imagine, for a moment, what it would be like within ourselves, and within our religious community, to mindfully answer the call to joy?
--Alma Hatfield, First Unitarian Church, Sioux City, IA.